How to Play the Mind — and Stop Being Played by It

(Part 1 of a three-part series)

A Sunday in Bern

I was playing the final part of the final gong bath in a long day of sessions — a real marathon.

By all accounts, and by my own inner sense, the day had been fantastic.
The sessions were deep, focused, and well held.

It was a weekend in Bern.

And then something happened that had never happened to me before.

A woman began laughing — right in the middle of the gong bath.

I’ve seen a lot over the years.
People getting angry.
People walking out.
People telling me afterward that they were bored or uncomfortable.

But I had never experienced someone laughing during a session.

What followed was immediate and visceral.

My chest tightened.
There was a throbbing in my head.
Then came anger.
Then judgment.
Then a desire to get even.

And alongside all of that, there was also awareness.

A part of me knew: do not react.

That reminder had to be repeated — again and again — because the discomfort stayed for the rest of the session.

I didn’t feel peaceful.
I didn’t feel blissful.
But I stayed present.

I continued playing — slower, quieter, more systematically — relying on structure rather than intuition, because in that moment intuition was clouded by emotion.

Later, when I spoke with her, something unexpected happened.

She didn’t know why she had laughed.

It was clear that it had nothing to do with me.
It was an energetic release — spontaneous, needed, and harmless.

And suddenly, the entire episode revealed its deeper lesson.

The mind that plays you always thinks it knows what’s happening.
And it is almost always wrong.

What Almost Happened

Had I followed my initial impulses, the session would have gone very differently.

I would have tried to play better.
More beautifully.
More impressively.

I would have taken it personally.
Doubted myself.
Compensated.

At best, the session would have become mediocre.
At worst, it would have been a disturbance — even a kind of violence.

Gongs are too powerful for egoic compensation.

They don’t just produce sound.
They transmit vibration — directly into people’s nervous systems.

To use that power to get even, to prove something, or to regulate one’s self-image is dangerous.

And this is where the story stops being about gong playing.

Being Played by the Mind

Whether you play gongs or not, you know this experience.

Something happens.
Your body reacts.
Your mind creates a story.
And suddenly you’re no longer choosing — you’re reacting.

Left unchecked, the mind has one primary agenda:

• Avoid discomfort
• Attach to what feels safe

There is nothing wrong with wanting comfort.
There is nothing wrong with wanting happiness.

The problem is that the mind tries to achieve these goals by controlling a world it does not actually control — using past experience to manage the present moment.

That’s an impossible task.

And the result is familiar:

Justification.
Blame.
Avoidance.
Distraction.
Endless strategies to feel okay.

We don’t suffer from what we don’t know.
We suffer from what we think we know — that simply isn’t so.

The Cost of Being Played by the Mind

On a personal level, this shows up as:

• Chronic stress and much preventable illness
• Missed creative opportunities
• Missed love and intimacy
• Missed professional growth
• A quiet narrowing of life

On a relational level:

• Conflict in families
• Misunderstanding between partners
• Distance between neighbors, colleagues, strangers

And scaled up:

• Polarization
• Dehumanization
• War

The same mechanism — reaction without reflection — simply amplified.

And this is the tragedy:

The very same mind that has enabled us to create breathtaking art, technology, music, medicine, and culture is also responsible for immense suffering — when it runs without leadership.

The Mind: A Wonderful Servant, a Terrible Master

Everything you are doing right now — reading these words, understanding their meaning — is a gift of the mind.

Human beings have learned to fly without wings.
To communicate across the planet.
To shape sound into instruments like gongs that can touch the deepest layers of the nervous system.

None of this happens without the mind.

And yet:

Look at political discourse.
Look at families at the dinner table.
Look at strangers on a bus, avoiding one another.
Look at wars justified by stories no one questions anymore.

The problem is not the mind.

The problem is how we relate to it.

When the mind is not led, it defaults to fear-based survival strategies.
When it is not guided, it confuses familiarity with truth.
When it is not witnessed, it becomes compulsive.

If you don’t learn to play the mind,
you will be played by it.

What’s Needed First

You cannot fix this from inside the reaction.

Thinking harder doesn’t help.
Positive thinking doesn’t help.
Explaining the situation to yourself doesn’t help.

To step out of this mechanistic loop, something else is needed first.

What’s needed is a liberating thought.

The Liberating Thought

A liberating thought is a thought that frees you.

What does it free you from?

From the prison of automatic reaction —
where cause and effect run unchecked,
and you have no say in what happens next.

Here it is, sharp and simple:

I can’t trust what my mind is telling me right now.

This is not distrust of other people.
Not distrust of situations.
Not denial of facts.

It is doubt of the story your automatic personalized mind is producing.

Strong feelings do not make a story true.
Intensity does not equal accuracy.

When personalization is present —
when emotion is involved —
this doubt is essential.

This is the first break in the chain.

This thought doesn’t have to be used all the time.

It can be used whenever there is disturbance, both large and small. I recommend starting with small disturbances so you have more capacity when serious disturbances occure.

Example disturbances where you shouldn’t trust your mind:

• Irritation in traffic
• Judgment toward a stranger or a situation
• Anxiety about a deadline
• Emotional charge in a relationship
• Fear, anger, or sadness

You may want to practice it first with small, inconsequential moments —
so it’s available when things really matter.

From doubting your thoughts to the higher ground of pure witnessing.

The liberating thought creates distance.

Not distance from reality —
but distance from the commentary, with it’s emotional disturbance, and compulsive reactions.

That distance is not yet freedom.
But it opens the door.

What becomes available next is witnessing consciousness.

This is the capacity to be aware of thoughts, emotions, and sensations
without being inside them.

Witnessing comes with many benefits:

• The mind slows down
• Space appears between thoughts
• Feelings become calm and even joyful
• Choice becomes possible again

This is the ground from which playing the mind begins.

The cost of not witnessing is huge!

Without witnessing, the mind will quietly ruin your life.

Suffering does not come from circumstances.
It comes from our thoughts — unwitnessed.

When thoughts are not seen, they undermine the quality of your life.
They shape your reactions, your relationships, your health, and your future.

Witnessing slows the whole process down.
And when the process slows down, choice returns.

When thought is seen, it loses authority.
When authority dissolves, freedom appears.

Make It a Priority

Practice Noting every day.

Five minutes is enough.
The same time each day is best — because it establishes leadership.

You are telling your mind:

“Playing my mind matters.”

Once a day builds the foundation.
Twice a day — you’re golden.

Using the Liberating Thought in Daily Life

Use the liberating thought whenever there is disturbance.

Start with low-stakes situations:

• Weather
• Traffic
• Delays
• Minor frustrations

These are perfect training grounds — all cost, no benefit.

When emotions intensify — anger, fear, sadness — the liberating thought becomes essential.

Feel the feeling.
Drop the meaning.
Again and again.

A Final Word

No one is coming to save you from your own mind.

And that’s good news.

Because it means this is in your hands.

You deserve clarity.
You deserve creativity.
You deserve peace.

And the world deserves you — less reactive, more present, more alive.

Start with five minutes.
Practice Noting.
Use the liberating thought.

And stay tuned.

This is Part One of a three-part series on Playing the Mind.